Surprisingly healthy and unhealthy ways perfectionists cope with stress and anxiety

One question that we hear often is how different types of perfectionists cope with stress and anxiety in their lives. There has been a lot of research conducted on this already, so let us take a look at some of the different coping strategies utilized. Now remember that some of these may fit for you and others may not. We are simply talking about the more common coping strategies different types of perfectionists use.

First, it is important to note that more current research is showing that there are several types of perfectionists out there. Depending on what type you are, this can change the way you cope with stress and anxiety. If you are unsure of the different types of perfectionists out there, check out this blog post.

Let’s look at the three most common types we find in some of the literature: 1) Adaptive Perfectionists; 2) Unhealthy Perfectionists; and 3) Non-perfectionists (granted the last one is not a perfectionist per say but it’s important to see how non-perfectionists compare to the other types).

Before we go into how these different types cope with stress and anxiety, let us look at one way to measure coping using a scale called the Ways of Coping Scale. This scale, along with several other assessments, were given to over 1,200 college students in a study that looked at how different types of perfectionists were coping with various worries and anxieties in their lives. This scale asks a bunch of questions and can then be divided into several different coping strategies some which are considered healthy while others are considered unhealthy.

Healthy Coping Strategies

1)    Self-controlling: Healthy efforts to regulate your emotions and behaviors

2)    Seeking Social Support: Productive efforts you take to find emotional/social support and additional information from others

3)    Planful Problem Solving: Deliberate problem-focused actions to change the stressful or anxious situation (note this is not confrontational)

4)    Positive Reappraisal: Efforts individuals take to create positive meaning surrounding the stressful or anxious event

Unhealthy Coping Strategies

1)    Distancing: Unhealthy approaches to detach from the situation or stress

2)    Escape-avoidance: Commonly viewed as wishing the anxiety goes way while also actively avoiding it

3)    Confrontative: Unhealthy efforts to alter the situation typically with expressions of hostility and risk taking

4)    Self-Blame: An unfair amount of self-blame one puts on themselves about their own stress and anxiety

How Adaptive Perfectionists Cope with Stress and Anxiety?

First, it is important to note that adaptive perfectionists hold high standards for themselves and their work while also not being overly self-critical about themselves when they do not meet these standards. In many cases we find the research shows that their overall levels of stress and anxiety are lower when compared to unhealthy perfectionists and even non-perfectionists! This is surprising to many people who think all perfectionism is unhealthy; however, there is convincing evidence that is simply not the case.

So how do adaptive perfectionists cope with stress and anxiety? Well, overall adaptive perfectionists utilized two key unhealthy coping strategies LESS than unhealthy perfectionists and non-perfectionists.  

1)    Distancing or unhealthy efforts to detach from the situation,

2)    Escape-avoidance, which is commonly viewed as wishing the anxiety goes way avoiding it.

At the same time, adaptive perfectionists utilized various healthy coping strategies in higher amounts than non-perfectionists but similar levels to unhealthy perfectionists.

1)    Self-controlling (healthy efforts to regulate emotions and behaviors)

2)    Seeking social support (healthy efforts individuals take to obtain additional informational and emotional support from others)

3)    Planful problem solving (healthy and deliberate problem-focused actions to change the stressful situation)

4)    Positive reappraisal (healthy efforts individuals take to create positive meaning on the stressful or anxious event)

How to Unhealthy Perfectionists Cope with Stress and Anxiety?

As a reminder unhealthy perfectionists hold high standards for themselves and their efforts in work, school, and relationships; however, they also have high levels of self-criticism and beat themselves up internally when they do not meet or exceed those expectations for themselves (for more information on this check out this blog post).

Using the same study from earlier, unhealthy perfectionists were MORE likely to use the following unhealthy coping strategies compared to adaptive perfectionists.

1)    Distancing: Unhealthy efforts to detach from the situation or stress

2)    Escape-avoidance: Commonly viewed as wishing the anxiety goes way avoiding it

3)    Self-Blame: An unfair amount of self-blame one puts on themselves about their own stress and anxiety

What does this mean?

Well, overall this study concluded that adaptive perfectionists utilized more healthy coping strategies and fewer unhealthy coping strategies when compared to unhealthy perfectionists and in some cases non-perfectionists. It is also important to see that adaptive perfectionists also reported the LOWEST overall anxiety levels compared to both unhealthy perfectionists and non-perfectionists.

It also potentially suggests that it is the usage of more unhealthy coping strategies that may really be making unhealthy perfectionists more anxious as they are utilizing strategies that are not going to be as successful over the longer term. If you find yourself being very hard on yourself when you do not do things perfectly, get angry at little things, or simply are avoiding situations out of the fear of failure or feeling overwhelmed, finding a counselor who specialized in perfectionism therapy may be helpful.